Some people are unfortunate enough to have neighbors that like to complain about the most trivial things. They tend to blow things out of proportion and always find a way to make themselves the victim. On my street, it’s this paralyzed guy, Jasper. He’s trying to take a mountain out of a molehill. It’s not like it would take dynamite to blast through the little deuces my dog drops in his path, and I think he should accept that sometimes life is messy, and that’s okay.
Let me start at the beginning. About a year ago, I adopted a puppy. My son and I love him. I’m not sure what dynamic Jasper has with dogs, but whatever it is, my dog doesn’t like him. My dog is wary around certain people--maybe it’s Jasper’s wheelchair, but my dog’s never bit him. He’s a good dog, and only barks, and like all dogs, he needs to poop.
I couldn’t believe how dramatic Jasper was being when he said my dog was taking a shit at the end of his driveway. Profanity is a low vibration, and my son was home, but anyways, Jasper was way out of line, practically yelling. He talked about setting a bear trap--isn’t that messed up? Well, his threats turned out to be empty, thank God. I knew it was all drama and refused to let him upset me. Jasper only wanted to vent, complaining about getting my dog’s poop on his hands. He said it had happened on more than one occasion.
This was all last year, and he was saying dog poop had something to do with the urinary tract infections he’d been getting. He was so worked up that I tried to reason with him, getting him to take a breath and chillax a little. I explained that my dog wouldn’t be able to fit through the fence. Jasper should give it some time. My dog was still growing and wouldn’t be able to fit through the hog wire in a few months. This was a year ago. Now that he’s fully grown, my dog still fits through the fence, but when Jasper first complained, I said that there was no need to jump to red alert.
A year went by without any complaints, and I thought Jasper was over it, but no. He wants the world to be this neat little tidy place, and wants me to cooperate. More than willing to compromise, I said he could email me, and I could send my son over to pick up my dog’s poop. It shouldn’t be a problem.
Originally, Jasper wanted me to sure up my fence so my dog couldn’t slip out, or put him on a runner. Then, with a year interval gone by, a few days ago he messaged me. He claims that my dog had been attacking him with shit bombs, pooping on his sidewalk and wheelchair ramp, throughout last year. The morning he contacted me, he alleged that my dog came into his house and took a dump on his living room floor.
Like I’m supposed to believe him. He said he left the door open so that his girlfriend’s dog could play with my dog on the street, but the dogs wound up playing in his house. Why would he leave the door open? Even if there was dog poop on his living room floor, he has no hard evidence, no actual documentation, pictures or video of my dog pooping. It could have been his girlfriend’s dog’s mess on his living room floor. Even if my dog has been using his sidewalk, ramp and deck to do his business long before his girlfriend’s dog arrived a month ago, I can’t assume anything. And with two dogs on his property now, I can dismiss it completely. Just because my dog was playing in his house that morning doesn’t necessarily prove anything. We both know my dog is innocent until proven guilty.
His girlfriend’s dog is never chained up. Jasper’s servant also has a dog, so it’s not like Jasper has the right to complain about my dog pooping on his deck, sidewalk, ramp, and driveway. Did I mention Jasper’s girlfriend's dog, comes in my yard and eats my dog’s food? Yeah, and I’ve seen it pee on my car tire. It’s probably gone poop in my yard, so Jasper shouldn’t get it twisted. His girl’s dog pooping in my yard might be a little different than my dog taking a dump on his living room floor, ramp, sidewalk and deck--he claims it’s on a near weekly basis--but it’s splitting hairs, really. It’s just poop. Get over it, and where’s the proof it’s my dog?
So many people try to find a way to make themselves come off as the victim in situations that are just part of life. We all have different trials and tribulations, but it’s our reactions that matter. For Jasper, it’s his wheelchair, and I’m sure being paralyzed isn’t the greatest, but now he’s found a way to use his situation as leverage to say ‘poor me’. His audacity is unbelievable, and I can’t take any of it seriously. It’s funny, but then again not everyone has the same sense of humor as me.
Get this: Jasper says that he goes to the Urgent Care for antibiotics ten times a year to get treatment for UTI’s--urinary tract infections. He said something about having to insert a plastic catheter down his dick every time he urinates, but I had to tune him out when he started pointing to his hands and talking about my dog’s poop. They were grimey, but come on! Honestly, I thought it to be quite an inappropriate overshare. There was no need for that kind of imagery, but my heart goes out to him. I suppose that he was trying to imply that my dog’s poop, or fragments of it, travel down his urethra when he inserts the catheter. I think he called it his piss hole. Like I said, he was being more than a little crass and irritable when he approached me last year. I wish my son hadn’t been home to hear the vulgarity.
At least he’s only messaged me, so far, about my dog’s mess on his floor. He’s a loose cannon. He can be funny, but it’s in an inappropriate way that makes most people uneasy.
Anyways, shouldn’t he just wash his hands to avoid infection? I can see that touching his bare hands on his wheels, in order to get around in the wheelchair, is about the same as me wiping my hands on the bottom of my shoe every time I take a step, so if I were him, I would definitely be on top of my hygiene. Maybe he should wear gloves, I know I would.
My point is that he shouldn’t blame me for infections that result in running over my dog’s poop with his wheelchair wheels. His personal hygiene, or lack thereof, is his responsibility--not my problem. It’s not like I can wash his hands for him, and it’s not like he’s willing to help me out with my dog. He hasn’t offered to pay to line my fence with shade cloth or pay for a runner. Not that I would, even if he did. My dog has never been caged, like a criminal, and if it’s up to me, he never will be.
If I could offer Jasper advice, in regard to encountering my dog’s poop on his ramp, sidewalk, deck, and now living room floor, it goes as follows: First, make sure to watch where you’re wheels are going, and take note of what they might run over. Your trajectory should vary depending on the circumstances of where my dog has dropped a its pile of fecal matter. Second, when it’s dark, you should use a flashlight when you go up and down your ramp and sidewalk. And to sum up one and two, being the athletic you are, even in the wheelchair, you should be able to dodge my dog’s piles of poop. Obstacle courses are fun. Try and see it as a game--with fatal consequences in your case! Joking, I’m sure it’s not really like that.
And like I said, you could always text me. I told you to yell at my dog if you see him in your yard, and I know you think that will lead to more of the “shit bombs” on the path to your car, but have a heart. Their animals bro; learn to cohabitate in peace with thanksgiving. We’re so lucky to live in this paradise.
That guy, Jasper, sigh*. There’s so many crazy people in Puna! Did I mention that I even left him this dog scraper to pick up my dog’s poop? It might be a little difficult to maneuver in the wheelchair, but at least he should be able to scrape up the poop at the end of his driveway. Your welcome, Jasper. I paid for that. As far as sterilization after scraping, a little bleach in water coupled with a furious scrubbing, should do the trick. That might be impossible for Jasper, but he’s got a girlfriend now. Not being misogynistic, I’m just saying that she could help out in areas that are difficult for Jasper.
If he drives up, and my dog’s poop is there to greet him when he opens his car door, he could just back up a little. I bet there’s ways to get around it. I’m sure I could if I were in the wheelchair. Maybe he needs glasses, I don’t know. He acts like my dog’s poop is such a problem. I even said I’d come over and clean it up, so what’s the issue? I’m being pono, my responses reasonable, and I hope he can understand that sometimes life is messy. We can’t control the universe, only our reaction. This is probably some cosmic test for him.
The bottom line is that he should make his girlfriend and servant leash up their dogs, yeah, and then maybe I’d feel inclined to listen. As of now, I can’t take his overblown antics seriously. UTI from my dog’s poop on his ramp, sidewalk, driveway and deck? Please. With the dogs on his land running amok, he’s got no legs to stand on, both physically and metaphorically. Everyone I bring this up to agrees that I shouldn’t give it too much thought. They’ve met my dog, and once you get to know him, there’s no way you’d want him imprisoned. Unlike Jasper, I have a heart. I’m a peaceful warrior and that means I will remain strong in my stance, but I refuse to let the whirlwind of petty egoism sweep me up. My feet are on the ground.
Did I mention that Jasper’s girlfriend’s dog is always coming over, shitting, pissing, eating my dog’s food? Get real bro, and stop being a hypocrite. You say that the dog’s on your land poop where you don’t wheelchair, but you can’t know that for sure. You have no proof. Besides, even if you get my dog’s poop on your hand, and aren’t in a place that you can properly wash your hands, like your car or something, you shouldn’t whine about it. You have medical insurance, so it’s not like you pay for the antibiotics. And what’s a little fever? I bet you wouldn’t die from those UTI’s, if you didn’t take antibiotics (which you do), so quit being a snowflake. Your not that fragile. Take some personal responsibility for your own health, and don’t use your “paralyzed card” to try and gain my sympathy--especially when you’re such a hypocrite.
Dog poop, deal with it. Without any video evidence, and without keeping your dogs leashed up, I see no reason to keep my dog from using your sidewalk, ramp, deck, and end of the driveway, as it’s shit depository. Besides, I’ve seen that he’s pooped in the street. Right now, there’s white flattened splats of it that cars have driven over, my dog’s poop flattened like toxic albino pancakes, baked in the sun. So that’s the road in front of your property, so stop saying my dog always goes on your land. The road is public property, and even if my dog has targeted the pavement at the end of your driveway, it’s not like you own that piece of the road. You happen to use it--not my problem.
I’ve noticed that people who see themselves as victims say things like ‘always’ and ‘never’ which are hyperbolic and dismissable. My dog does not always poop on Jasper’s driveway, ramp, and deck, but like I said, his ‘life threatening’ concerns over my dog’s poop are his problem, not mine.
It’s true, I could put some shade cloth on the interior of the hog wire fence which surround my property, and then my dog would be contained, but do you know how much that would cost? Are you offering to pay for it, Jasper? And a runner? That’s like dog torture.
And as for convincing me, I’ll just let you do that before I even think about giving your concerns a second thought. Just like my dog hasn’t been filmed pooping--actually caught in the act--you only have suspicions that my dog’s poop has led to various urinary tract infections. You allege that, but again, you have no proof.
In closing, if I were you, I would clean my hands better. But enough of that, I’m sure after reading this, you’ll do that. You’re a smart guy, Jasper. Be smart, but be rational. Your girlfriend will help you out, and I know your ego won’t like it when you ask her to help you out. I bet she’d be grateful to scrub up the spots where my dog shit with some bleach. For you, that might mean learning to be humble, but I think that will do you some good. Anyways, I wish you nothing but the best. From a peaceful warrior like myself, I hope I can impart some wisdom, and that is to love all of God’s creatures. Respect my dog, Jasper. I’m sure if you show him that you love him--if you can become vulnerable and allow him to see you, and not this sarcastic front you use, he will poop elsewhere. Until then, grow, and let the light of love open your heart like a lotus flower.
No comments:
Post a Comment